Congratulations! You're A Certified Sex Addict!

I recently came across an article written by Rachel Kramer Bussel, writer of many amazing books, editor, and producer of In The Flesh Erotica Reading Series held every 3rd Thursday's at Happy Endings over on Broome Street. She is also a noted cupcake lover as well.

I met her briefly in a most unusual way when the two of us participated at Babeland's Masturbate-A-Thon several years back that way filmed for HBO's Real Sex. Our segment is currently on Real Sex 32: Some Like It Hot and it is well....quite hot to say the least.

I say briefly because the participants that day were mostly concerned with...themselves to be honest, so i really didn't bond with anyone to say the least, however i met several participants years later through burlesque and other artistic related events. It was a strange 6 degree's of NYC separation, and throughout the years I have loosely followed her work and have seen her pop up everywhere in NYC, even gracing my burlesque show back in April.

The article in question that she wrote centered around sex addiction and it's use as a scapegoat and target. It went on to dispute a sex addiction test aptly titled Sexhelp.com Sex Addiction Screening Test (SAST)

According to her article and citing a quote from the site the test was "[d]eveloped in cooperation with hospitals, treatment programs, private therapists, and community groups, the SAST provides a profile of responses which help to discriminate between addictive and non-addictive behavior."

I decided to take this test and to see for myself if I according to programs, community groups and well-paid therapists am i fact a sex addict.

After typing in the url http://www.sexhelp.com/sast.cfm. I am immediately taken to a page with 45 questions. Before you can actually begin the test, you have to answer a few questions such as gender and sexual orientation. I am immediately thrown off by the orientation question since I really do not see the relevance but i click "Homosexual" and proceed. The questions range from topics such as participation in BDSM to purchasing magazines or visiting sex clubs. Sadly I plea guilty to all. Other than not having sex with minors and engaging is risky non-safe-sex behaiviors, i pretty much answered yes to all the questions.

When I clicked the Submit button, I was taken to another page with my scores and a chart.

My chart said the following:




Yes you have heard right! I am a certified Sex Addict scoring 14 out of 20! I was quite disappointed that there were no confetti thrown out or fanfare but I am still waiting for my watch!

After giggling like a schoolgirl at my amusement. I realized I could handle this information two ways 1) Realize that I have a problem and consult a 12 step spiritual program or 2) Laugh, Laugh, Laugh!

I really don't see the point is saying that I am a sex addict because I enjoy masturbating to porn and engage in sadomasochistic fun. Going to sex clubs, divulging in hot public sex are parts of my sexuality that I like to explore in a safe environment. Yeah sure i have fucked in clubs, cabs and LGTB centers, but they were hot, consensual and safe. Being a sexual person in CHARGE of my sexuality doesn't mean that there is a problem and at the end of the day, that is what irks me the most. Because I am sexually independent and GASP gay, there must be a problem with me that has to be treated via religious propaganda disguised as "treatment" programs.

So here is to my new found "addiction"! Let the porn stay, let the vibrators be turned on to the highest level, let the butt plugs be lubed and let me enjoy my sexuality!


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Original Article can be found here"
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-kramer-bussel/am-i-a-sex-addict-are-yo_b_73768.html
Huffington Post, November 28, 2007

How Not To Get In My Pants: Volume 1

When attempting to introduce yourself because you have added me on a networking application such as myspace or facebook, it is very important to showcase a positive attitude and general cheerful disposition. Careful planning such as insertion of compliments via said email systems can help greatly when trying to garner attention from a lady.

Now this is not to say I am in any way better than anyone, but taking great care in how you approach a person can help one in the process of getting into my pants, or perhaps the pants of another girl.

One example is to email and maybe tell me what nice pictures i have, or that you have looked at my videos on youtube of my burlesque performances and you loved it (hint I just love compliments on my own work!) Compliments, Compliments Compliments!

Perhaps buy me a drink and wine and dine me. I just love it and you will get more than you bargained for at the end up the night!

It's a simple solution no? Well perhaps this girl that emailed me today thought a different approach would work.

"you seem a very interesting person. i'm an artist myself, but unlike you, i would much rather please my viewer than shock them...

Tell me more about yourself"

Did she think insulting what i do would send me flying into her arms? Needless to say she will get no response but in my fantasy world where I can say whatever it is I please without fear of repercussion or consequence or more drama in my already drama filled world. My perfect response would be the following.

"Hmm myself? Well I love cats, and wonderful conversations with open-minded individuals that instead of insulting me, would want to know more about what i do.

To please the audience is something that i don't quite agree with, it is the ultimate form of complacency that as an artist who believes that art is about crossing boundaries and experimenting, would be the antitheses of everything that i stand for.

Thank you for your inquiry but you fail...

Have a great day!"


I really think the exclamation point is the heart of the response....

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere - An Introduction

So i have been thinking for quite some time about blogging about my own sex adventures, mishaps and just crazy people i meet along the way. Thinking back to things, it all really amuses me. Lack of social graces, insecurities and general drama are the things that this one lesbian has to deal with in the dating field.

So before i get to my first post, i would like to introduce myself. My name is N (yes just N) and I am a burlesque performer/designer/stylist/makeup artist/whatever career i feel like undertaking at any given time. I am what you may call a free spirit, a girl who is open to new ideas, and lots of experiementation. These are my adventures in lesbian dating, sex and mayhem. Won't you please join me...