How Not To Get In My Pants: Volume 1

When attempting to introduce yourself because you have added me on a networking application such as myspace or facebook, it is very important to showcase a positive attitude and general cheerful disposition. Careful planning such as insertion of compliments via said email systems can help greatly when trying to garner attention from a lady.

Now this is not to say I am in any way better than anyone, but taking great care in how you approach a person can help one in the process of getting into my pants, or perhaps the pants of another girl.

One example is to email and maybe tell me what nice pictures i have, or that you have looked at my videos on youtube of my burlesque performances and you loved it (hint I just love compliments on my own work!) Compliments, Compliments Compliments!

Perhaps buy me a drink and wine and dine me. I just love it and you will get more than you bargained for at the end up the night!

It's a simple solution no? Well perhaps this girl that emailed me today thought a different approach would work.

"you seem a very interesting person. i'm an artist myself, but unlike you, i would much rather please my viewer than shock them...

Tell me more about yourself"

Did she think insulting what i do would send me flying into her arms? Needless to say she will get no response but in my fantasy world where I can say whatever it is I please without fear of repercussion or consequence or more drama in my already drama filled world. My perfect response would be the following.

"Hmm myself? Well I love cats, and wonderful conversations with open-minded individuals that instead of insulting me, would want to know more about what i do.

To please the audience is something that i don't quite agree with, it is the ultimate form of complacency that as an artist who believes that art is about crossing boundaries and experimenting, would be the antitheses of everything that i stand for.

Thank you for your inquiry but you fail...

Have a great day!"


I really think the exclamation point is the heart of the response....