The Numbers Game...

So...how many people have YOU been with?

This question always get's me, it's not that I'm ashamed or want to keep things a secret but difficulties arise when I actually start to go back and take a head count.

According to my calculations, 5 males entered me between the timeframe of 18-22. However 10 females rocked my world between 21 and on. Somehow I always thought i was in the 17-18 total range, shows you how amazingly talented I am at math!

These do seem like low numbers...quite low...it even seems...pathetic!

Now I do have to calculate the fact that before I was rockin' and rollin' with the females since my coming out back in december, I didn't have sex for 4 years prior to that during my transitional "am i queer am i not" phase. However before that, there was my "sex club" phase, and there were some other encounters during that time and before that time that puzzles me.

Now here comes the tricky part. What actually constitutes the number of sexual partners counted? What constitutes the naming of someone in that list? Does it have to be full on full sex? Or could it be a random affair with fingers? 

A discussion (or more like a friendly debate) ensued on this topic about a month ago with a certain ex of mine. She was adamant that things like blowjobs or heavy petting in sex clubs counted in my numbers. I on the other hand was on the opposition, adamant that it wasn't. Things like blowjobs don't count.

Then I realized if I actually DID count these Miscellanious category, that my numbers would be GREATLY changed from a virginal 15 to close to my 30's! Eeeep!

Ok so now i'm trying to do a full count, because I never counted all that...because it never counted in my head...and now i can't remember which makes my angelicness seem like the devil in diguise.

1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10............

I really can't count... i give up

So dear readers, what do you think? Do you think oral sex ONLY with a partner when i was 16 and slutty counts? A random finger fuck in a sex club with 2 girls on top of me? Random strangers I used to have come over my parents house when I was 17 and naive and discovered America Online chat rooms count? I mean he did cum on top of me. Does that random blowjob I gave this kid at school when I was 18 who had like the smallest dick I'd ever seen count? How about the intense makeout session with 3 other individuals or that other threesome of blowjobs i gave? 

I honestly think at this point that i've FORGOTTEN all these encounters...especially the straight ones with bio-males. I mean all the crazy blowjob and random encounters occured when i was 16-18 and I never gave it much thought afterwards. I was playing a game of russian roulette from being so shelted and such a good girl when I grew up that when my parents were away, I would become a dirty slut with an angelic face. It was my thing for awhile that got me off, before I realized that men were only used at my disposal and that they never really got me off, just filled an empty void because I was lonely and depressed at the time. I guess this is what happens when you are a loner you're entire life, at least in my case.

Not that I'm bitching or whining, i'm more in question of how people count there numbers? I'm still on the fence, but I'm wondering if i'm doing that because I want to be in denial and still a good girl or as I have been called before a "fake ho", which I needed to wikipedia that one because I never heard it thinking it was a an insult but rather a compliment because I'm not the type that sleeps around (now), and as I grow I realize how sacred sex is and how I want to share it with someone special, not another one night stand to get me off (barely) and give me a temporary boost to my self-esteem.

Maybe I'll just tell people 20 from now on and leave it at that! Now I truly understand why the whole Bill Clinton "Is Oral Sex, Sex?" thing in a WHOLE new way!