Vaginal Insecurities

My pussy is brown. There I said it...

I mean it should be, I am a woman of color, though from the outside I don't look it, but I can save my race for another blog post.

While girls wish for bigger breasts, that perfect nose job, liposuction, and botox injections, I on the other hand wish for a pinker pussy. My obsession with the color pink spans from the bedroom to my box in an exquisite manner complete with glitter, sequins and feathers. That is what I want my pussy to look like...the pinkest burlesque fan dance you have ever seen.

As the years have gone by, I have noticed my girl getting darker and darker, even around my inner thighs. My pussy as it stands, is the only indication of my heritage, let alone my dark pink nipples. I sometimes grab a cheap hand mirror, lay down on my bed and stare at her. I take alot of pride in my pussy by shaving it frequently as I like the clean shaven look. As I stare at her, I allow my fingers to trace it's shape. I pay close attention to it's every detail. This ritual can span 5 minutes to hours if I'm really bored with im'ing senseless drivel on gmail.

I sometimes wonder if I have a pretty pussy. I wonder if it is esthetically pleasing to the eye. It's not like I have never seen what another one looks like, but to date I have never been compliment on my precious. In my last relationship, albeit a short one, she would never compliment it, she preferred to look at the macro of my being rather than focusing on the details. I prefer details so our conversations that turned into arguments left me feeling insecure down there. I couldn't understand why it was so hard to tell me I had a pretty girl. I myself am not fully represented by what's down there, but I want my lover past, present of future to appreciate my body and get to know all it's kinks. I don't think that is asking much, and if someone does love you, wouldn't they want to know all that is you? Especially your body?


Since I am still in the healing phase from past heart wrenching drama. I am more than insecure about myself at this point, and although i know this is a passing phase, the next girl to fall between my sheets will hopefully be an understanding one. Will she be interested in my details? Will she hopefully like to place her fingers in my behind (crosses fingers)? Is it possible for it to happen?

I am purposely forcing myself out to a few parties in the upcoming weeks, not just because i have to promote my ass off for my show, but hopefully to use that medium in order to talk to women. To meet new faces in the same old places. With the lesbian scene here in NYC, although it is a small one, I know that I haven't met everyone just yet.

As for my pussy, perhaps I can paint some pink acrylic on her one day, just to say i had a pink pussy.