Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Proposition 8

I really haven't tackled current affairs in my blog and left it pretty limited to smut and more talk of the smutty actions that I partake it but after finding out about Proposition 8 being voted on, I feel that I have a responsibility to say something.

I am a 29 year old queer femme (or femme-ish, i do have butch qualites). I guess I define myself as femme by my gender pronoun which is a "she". I'm single though to tell you the truth I am more hating it than loving it.

I am highly sexualized, but incredibly intellectual and full of wit, which does intimidate fellow queers. In addition to being a giant nerd (mostly of pop culture and trivia), and burlesque performer (which also intimidates future lovers), I don't take myself seriously. I'm mostly asinine and silly and have a love affair with giggling and the word giggle itself.

I have gone through two horrible breakups this year, my problem is that I rushed and that I love to be in love. I love to cuddle up to a beautiful woman after we make love. Don't get me wrong, I love to fuck, but making love to someone, having them inside you and staring at you sharing that beautiful moment...that is what it is all about for me.

A thousand and one tears this year have been cried over women that have broken my heart. I have become or at least attempted to become jaded just so I wouldn't have to feel anymore, but that is truly the worst thing that you can become.

Even with this one girl who i am kinda seeing or at least at this point getting to know better, I am still scared of it blowing up in my face, and am taking things at an alarming slow speed. She may be the one, she may not be, but what I do know that I want is companionship, i want a partner, a lover, a best friend.

I want to be able to find someone, that amazing person that I am truly and deeply in love with and propose to her. I want to have that option.

What WOULD happen if such a thing were to come into it's own for me? Especially if I lived in California.

I wouldn't have a chance, my civil rights would be blocked because of laws and propositions. I will never have the chance to marry the woman i want.

Now yes there are states in which you can do this, but it would only be legal in THAT state and until NY State or NJ for that matter pass that law, it wouldn't least for me.

I want to get married, have that special partner adopt my fat kitties and grow old together. I want to have that option.

It is so easy for heterosexual couples to get married, and even easier to get divorced. Why can't me, a beautiful lesbian with so much love to give, be denied this?

I am so angry and so hurt that California, a place that advertises it's state as "Find Yourself Here", would play the "Indian Giver" game on civil rights for thousands if not millions of LGTBQ residents.

When will we have the chance to have the same rights as heterosexuals? Why are we CONSTANTLY denied and CONSTANTLY have to fight for our rights? Hasn't this gone long enough? 

November 4th was an HISTORIC day, and people do want change. As I was watching Obama's post-election winning speech, he made this beautiful mention. “Young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled”  He said the word "Gay" it as if it was the most natural thing to say, as if one would say hot dog, or peanut butter. Clearly he get's it, why can't the rest of us?

Why can't we all get it? 


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