The Objectification Of Stripping

So if you didn't know already, I am a burlesque performer here in the NYC area, really living in New Jersey of all places unfortunately. I have a strong love/hate affair with jersey in which the hate part usually wins when it comes to performing since I always have to leave so early to get there and leave so early to make sure I get home.

I enjoy what I do immensely, it's my livelihood. I treat it with respect and I hope that others treat it the same. However, we do not live in a perfect world and that isn't always the case.

Lately I have been dealing with objectification in greater amounts than usual. Hell I have been dealing with complete assholes if you don't mind me saying, and although I handle myself with composure and class, the thought of punching them in the face has crossed my mind more than a few times.

The one misconception of burlesque is that we are all sex-crazed exhibitionists. I have had those words put into a bullet and fired as ammunition on more than one occassion. I get treated less than a person becauase I'm considered a sex object. Sometimes it's fun to be fetishized in the bedroom, but I'm not looking for a one night stand, i'm looking for quality and endearment. 

Now someone can successfully debate that using the slogan "The NC-17 of Burlesque" invites such behavior to which I can successfully debate that the slogan used is not for sexual shock value, but to demystify the objectification of what IS sexual.  Of course not everyone will get my onstage persona and I don't expect them too, however I have the right to be treated with respect.

Men can be such offenders of objectification such as the one gentleman who thought it best to tell me he had an errection while watching me on stage. I simply responded with "I'm Gay" but it's not the point here that I'm trying to make. I've had men take pictures of me only to find out the ONLY shots published were ones of my breasts. I've had men relentlessly pursue me after performances that left me feeling incredibly uncomfortable. I've had men try to TOUCH ME after performances! I''ve had men objectify me to the point where I am like a sex doll to them and nothing more.

It makes me uncomfortable and it makes me sick, but truthfully...men are not the biggest offenders. Women are.

Women will act sexual or try to be sexual but they "aren't naked" or they aren't "this or that" so it's ok. Women are the ones who will trash your body type on stage. Women are the ones who will talk behind your back negatively and then sweet talk you in person.

Not that this is a trash women only blog, but this is a wakeup call for me at least. It's to remind me that you're friends may not be your friends. That the movie Mean Girls may have made some sense!

Regardless, once again I have gone off topic. It's so hard to write when you have such A.D.D. such as mine. Maybe it will help me develop my writing style...a style that makes no sense whatsoever! LOL

What I am ATTEMPTING to convey in this blog is that objectification can come from anywhere, and sometimes we are not that safe. It has gotten worse, at least in my eyes recently to where everytime I perform, i get some douchebag all up in my face, or some girl giving me nasty looks. Just because I am confident and comfortable in my own sexuality and with regards to my own body, doesn't mean I should let people like that affect me.  However it will happen and continues to happen, almost to the point where I feel sexually harassed.

The world in which we live in is still a puritanical one when it comes to sexuality and for some reason it never affected me when it came to coming into my OWN sexuality. I never felt ashamed, no matter how hard I beg future lovers to pee on me or fuck me in the ass. It's just who i am and I love myself.

I guess we all live in insecure times, and that insecurity makes others lash out onto those who are confident. Maybe me getting on stage and rocking it makes people hate me? I don't understand it, but it could be possible. Maybe it's my comfortability with my sexuality that gives the men those errections and makes it think that it's possible to date me? Who knows? 

but seriously....will it end? It's kinda getting on my nerves!