Shudder

I sit here in my post-masturbation glow, still affected by the rush of my etherial like climax. My adrenaline is pushed way high, and I can still feel my heartbeat beat at an alarming rate. My hands still tingle from the strong vibrations placing itself on my clit making my fingertips feel indestructable. My juices still peering out, I allow it to run down my thigh before I wipe it away with my index finger, tracing the line up towards my glistening pussy. It is here and it is now that I feel like a goddess, that i feel like a woman.

I woke up early this morning, after a telemarketer called the apartment at around 8:30 this morning...on a SUNDAY morning! I was quite annoyed but woke up anyways and checked my email for a bit. Then it hit me...the rush of eroticism that dominates my brain 99% of my waking and dreaming life. Images flooding of women, of strap-on's, of pillows furiously being humped on. Delicate fingers inserting various holes all in perfect syncroncity. An orchestra of clits, asses and confident sexuality. 

I cannot ignore it any longer.

I walk towards my bedroom and open the door. A rush of coldness envelops my naked body as I begin 

to lie on my back in my bed, covering myself with my comforter. I grab a condom and place in over my 

cock and place it down on my chair that i made into a nightstand. I want to properly work my body before 

I am ready to take him.

Spreading my legs, I use my right hand to feel her, to feel how wet she is becoming. I start at the lips, 

opening them ever so carefully exploring myself from inside. I have never wanted to be in myself so much.

I pull my hand closer to myself purposely hitting my clit. It makes me jump a bit for it sends chills up and down

my skin. I know it's time for something stronger.

I turn "it" on, it being the almost broken down Hitachi Magic Wand that I will soon have to replace. The cord 

slightly disconnected itself so I have to hold it in a special way to make it work. I put away my vibe frustrations

and instead of fighting it, i make it work for me. I heat up the tennis ball like cover with my hand as it is cold,

and place it on my clit. I turn it on the lowest setting, allow my head to fall backwards onto my pillow and close my eyes.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

The mixture between my hum's and the buzzing is almost the same, as if the two sounds blended into one. I start to

think about her, the one that I have a small crush on. I think about our strap-on experience, I think about her orgasming.

I think about her beautiful body as she relaxes and enjoys the pleasure I'm giving her. I think about running my hands all

down her body, analyzing every inch with my touch. I think about her sweet kisses and now I feel electrified every time I tasted

her lips.

I get a sweet almost sugar like feeling as I haven't fully materilized a "rough fucking session" in my head with her. I haven't

fully let her dominate me in my head, fully surrending to her. As the sugary fantasy ends, my mind starts to wander,

picking more elaborate and sadistic pleasures.

I picture myself in a room, one lit in a red light, almost like something out of a David Lynch film. The red jaquard print curtains

hang with an extravagant and dominating precense, almost taking over the room. There is a bed with similar linens, all in red. The room itself is a cross between a seedy hotel and a french bordello. My kind of place. I am wearing very little, but 

the clothes that I carefully picked out speaks for itself. To start off with, I am wearing dangerously high heels in patent leather,

you know the ones that are super shiny like vinyl. Placed in the shoes, are my signature fishnets, held up only by a tiny vinyl garter belt with 6 garters. I love the look of multiple garters pressed flat against my ass and thighs, and no I am not wearing panties. I like the "less is more"

look, so I only accentuate the bottom with my vinyl bikini bra that has zippers that can zipper down and reveal my rose colored nipples.

My short black hair is slicked down, making me look like I could be in a fetish version of the musical Chicago. My lips are dressed with a sharp red gloss

and my eyes are done almost cat-like as it is another signature look of mine. It's femme fetish and for me, in this bed, it works.

It is there on the bed that he is waiting for me. Not a man, but my unamed butch lover. My lover has no name, no face, and hardly any clothes on at this point.

The only thing that he is wearing, is a strap-on with a beautifully cut 9 inch vixskin. He motions me to come closer to him and I follow.

As I approach, he stands to the left side of me, and his lips move closer to my ear. I think he is going to kiss me but instead he whispers very slowly

but succinctly "On Your Hands And Knees". I comply, still growing wet with every minute that my magic wand works it's magic on my body. I get 

on my hands and knees on the bed and as I begin to insert my silicone lover into my pussy, my fantasy lover thrusts his entire manhood in one blow.

He pounds me with an energy of 20 men, all vying for a peice of my body. With his left arm, he cradles my stomach to get a better hold of me, with his right

hand, he clenches my hip for even more support. He has full control of me, and I am letting him, I am giving him complete permission to do whatever he wants

to me. The extreme butch/femme dynamic makes my body convulse, makes it beg for more. I want my butch lover to claim me, I want him to possess me, I want

him to love me. 

With all this mental masturbation, my physical masturbation cannot hold much longer. The more I think about my butch fantasy, the more I want to cum. I try to hold myself

back, but my body is starting to take over, take control. The final moment is when he switches positions, taking me missionary, eyes staring at one another as our bodies meld into one.

and it happens, the fantasy, the expert manipulation of my hands using the magic wand and the dildo..it all comes crashing down, creating a perfect balance.

I almost feel an out of body feeling when it fully hits, my body lifts itself up to the point where I am balancing it between my head and my feet. I scream out in this beautiful agony and 

begin to shudder.I shudder for what feels like a lifetime. I shudder for him. I shudder for that amazing butch that will one day claim me in the real world. I shudder for the day we will 

finially meet.....I shudder from it all.